Angry Youth! Blog

May 19, 2008

Well it’s not MY fault…

Filed under: Life — mikeyc252 @ 11:26 pm

It was 4:30 and raining. I finally ditched my ride who was taking too long and decided to tough it in the rain. Hey God, you know the saying APRIL showers bring MAY flowers? It’s not supposed to rain in May.

I could’ve gotten a ride from my mom but the line was busy. (not that I called her first) I maned up and assessed the situation: It was raining. I had part of my Humanities nine weeks project, a posterboard, with me. If it got wet the several minutes I had spent on it would drain away with the running ink.

I turned around and inspiration came to me. I was at the gym entrance outside the football field. A trash can sat by the drink vendors. By some act of God (payback for his dumb weather) two trash bags were folded inside the trash can. To the untrained eye trash bags may only be trash bags. But to this Boy Scout the plastic protector yielded limitless uses.

The door was open and I snatched the trash bag. I pulled it over my project, only ripping it once, and headed back outside.

ATTENTION READERS: I note the bag rippage as an obvious allusion to something that will happen later in the story. Pay close heed to the bag rippage!

I immediately regretted not grabbing the other trash bag and turning into a full body suit to keep my skin dry. Ironman has nothing on a cheap plastic bag poncho.

My covered project and me shared a symbiotic relationship. I gave it protection from the elements, it gave me protection from the elements. I’m not sure exactly how cool I looked with this posterboard over my head in the rain but my guess is in the upper-cool range. I learned to keep the board at a slight slant to shield me from the onslaught of rain.

ATTENTION READERS: Did you catch the consonance? Slight, slant, shield and onslaught? Just thought I’d point that out.

About half way to my house I tried to put my head directly in the rip and touching the board since I was concerned about board slippage in the bag. Unfortunately this is when things went downhill.

I felt the board slipping from my control. Suddenly a small burden eased from my head! I turned around and there, in all its glory, was my nine weeks project lying on the ground, getting wet. The ink on photo paper was already smearing.

ATTENTION READERS: This is where the allusion is filled. Did you catch it? This would make a great story to read in your english class-so many literary devices.

My cat-like Boy Scout reflexes kicked in. I grabbed the board and covered it on one side with the bag. I walked the rest of the way home, about five blocks, with no protection from the torrent.

As I walked home self-pity swirled in my wet skull. God, why have you forsaken me? Why did the bag rip? Why did the posterboard fall out? Why was my mom’s phone busy? (not like I was a sissy enough to call her)

ATTENTION READERS: This is known as a parallelism. It’s when you state three phrases with similar form for extra impact. C’mon Mrs. Johnson, I know you would rather teach this than The Scarlet Letter.

I finally made it home. My mom didn’t even hear me when I closed the door, even when I was seven feet away.

“I’m home.”

“How did you get home?”

How do you think? Apparently she was talking on the phone to Grandma or Vicki or someone like that.

Of course, it’s not my mom’s fault that I was soaking wet and my project was ruined. It was also Mrs. Sanders’. If she had given me a better grade I might have taken better care of my project. Stephanie Dersch, it’s your fault for not offering to take me home.

But most of all God, it’s your fault. I’ll get you back for this.

May 12, 2008

Pre-Emptive Strike

Filed under: dog comics — mikeyc252 @ 11:05 pm

passive aggressive

Punk Rock

Filed under: general comics — mikeyc252 @ 11:02 pm

fuck the man

Why confessions take so long

Filed under: dog comics — Tags: — mikeyc252 @ 10:55 pm

April 20, 2008

Obama has already changed politics-a volunteer narrative

Filed under: Election — Tags: — mikeyc252 @ 7:55 pm

Grassroots-you may have heard the term this election cycle, but what does it mean? A grassroots campaign is built around small individual donations and volunteering. Sen. Obama has a strong grassroots campaign based on nearly a million and a half donors and a national network of volunteers. For the past few weeks I have been working with the Obama Marion County Township Team.

My first event was going door-to-door, or “canvassing.” Canvassing is more than just knocking on random doors. The Marion County leaders Michael and Charles get targeted voters, ideally undecided, from the Democratic National Committee. I arrived on a chilly April morning at Indy Park to get started. I parked my car and quickly stereotyped the figures huddled under the pavilion.

Michael and Charles were two recent out-of-state college grads fooling with their iPhones. Jeff was a heavy older man with a Bluetooth on his ear and cigarettes in his pocket. A black mom soon arrived with 4 kids, all decked out in Obama wear. The mom would canvass with her kids, I would go with Jeff and the leaders would stay here.

We got a packet of a script, addresses and literature and headed to Jeff’s truck. That was the first maternal rule I broke-getting into a car with someone I barely knew. As we talked in his car, he explained why he supports Sen. Obama. Like many others, he was inspired by his 2004 Democratic National Convention speech. Though he’s a lifelong Republican he is committed to getting Sen. Obama into office.

After twenty minutes of driving around we finally reached the apartment complex. Time to roll. It was a hassle holding all the papers but I trucked over to the first apartment. There goes the next maternal rule-always go with a buddy.

The experience was slightly depressing. The apartment complex had a steep turnover rate, so half the addresses were wrong. It’s inhabitants appeared to be lower class, most spoke English with an accent. No matter what their ethnicity, most were apathetic. I asked one disinterested lady if she bought gas. “I’m not interested.”

I’m around news and politics several hours a day and this indifference was foreign to me. Even before I started religiously following the election I was still mildly interested in the cool black dude running for President.

That was my first experience. The next weekend I showed up to canvas again. About 20 people were there and the grill was fired up. I was paired with a middle-aged mom named Elizabeth. Like Jeff, she’s impressed by Sen. Obama’s personal speeches and honesty. She had never canvassed before but told me she regularly watches Meet the Press, which explains why she could easily reference the current state of Obama’s campaign. Another rule broken-my mom instructed me to go with one other kid and two adults.

We were assigned to a small subdivision of smaller, identical houses. Like the Saturday before the majority weren’t home or answering. It was 11, were people really this lethargic? We encountered four Obama supporters, four undecided and three non-supporters out of 30 doors knocked on. Surprisingly I didn’t meet a single Hillary supporter. One of homeowners eloquently stated that “I don’t believe in Barack Obama…whatsoever.”

You can usually predict someone’s response by their house. Lots of kid toys usually meant they were friendly. An elaborate garden commonly belonged to a Obama supporter. A crowded garage and a Punisher sticker on their truck signaled a McCain supporter. Sometimes we purposely marked on untargeted houses because they seemed liberal. I was disappointed the Yaris-owning mom was apolitical.

No matter where you canvass, someone will tell you you’re soliciting. This time it was a grouchy mom playing baseball with her son. I told her we were volunteering for Obama’s campaign, not selling something. “There’s a sign that says no soliciting!” Luckily her house wasn’t targeted anyway, her temper matches very nicely with McCain’s.

We got done quickly and headed back to camp. I was finally able to snag some Obama swag: some buttons, stickers and a yard sign. I encourage people to give money to the Obama campaign but there’s really no reason to pay $4 for a button when they’re this easily accessible. I put the yard sign by our driveway but my dad insisted the bumper stay clean.

I recently read an online account of a Clinton volunteer. The Pennsylvania campaign office was disorganized and restricted by the national HQ. He spend most of his time phone banking; the majority of the volunteers were female college students and moms. Every facet of the Clinton campaign depends on the former First Lady being portrayed in a certain way.

That is why Sen. Obama will succeed. There were numerous demographics at our events. Instead of reading from a script over the phone, we went door to door explaining why we support Sen. Obama. Michael and Charles are free to organize however they want. Political activism has entered the mainstream.

The Obama campaign depends on ultra-local networking and volunteering, while the McCain and Clinton campaign depend on the media and lobbyists. Some call Obama’s pledge to change politics “just talk.” But he already has.

April 18, 2008

Barney Frank introduces bill decriminalizing marijuana

Filed under: General Politics — Tags: — mikeyc252 @ 11:00 pm

You heard me. Yesterday Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) fulfilled his promise to introduce a pot decriminalization bill. The bill, nicknamed the “Make Room for Serious Criminals Bill,” is cosponsored by my favorite Congressman, Ron Paul. (R-TX) The legislation aims to remove federal penalties for individual possession of marijuana and fits along with Rep. Frank’s earlier efforts to make medical marijuana federally legal on doctor’s permission

I don’t know if this will get passed With Obama (hopefully) in office, who has previous expressed that he’s in favor of medical marijuana.
POT

April 11, 2008

Trust in polls surging, according to latest poll

Filed under: General Politics — Tags: — mikeyc252 @ 2:12 am

Note-this is totally fake

According to the latest Gallup poll, American’s trust in polls is at an all-time peak. 143% of those surveyed reported a trust in poll results as “very high.” 129% said the government should base its decisions solely on the latest polls and 107% favored replacing the legislative branch and signing poll results into law the next business day.
Says one polled citizen: “I just keep trusting pollsters more and more. Every poll is an accurate description of every aspect of this country.” Says poll expert Mark Turpen: “What we’re seeing here is a blind religious belief in apparent facts. Both the media and the average American are being bombarded with obviously fair polls.”
Pollsters like Steven Hitchens are excited about polling. “The more advanced the technology becomes, the more accurate the poll results.” Many pollsters credit internet polls for the surge in reliable polling data; obscure online polls have been hailed as the most accurate description of the country since the country itself.
Some politicians downsize poll results, calling them unreliable. According to the latest Fox News poll, their approval rates are plummeting. Hitchens cites polls as a great way to evaluate politicians and explains how polls can reveal hidden terrorists in the government. “If the majority believes a public figure is a terrorist or commie, he probably is.” He continues with the possibility of the “mindpoll” which continuously polls the brainwaves of unsuspecting citizens. “Polls-they’re the new fact” Hitchens excitedly added.

House passes AMERICA Act, nullifying Constitution

Filed under: General Politics — Tags: — mikeyc252 @ 2:10 am

Note-this is totally fake.

Last night the House of Representatives passed the AMERICA Act 405-30, giving unrestricted power to the executive branch. The bill, sponsored by Frank Leher (R-MI) will take effect July 4, in honor of our nation’s independence from monarchial tyrants. The bill provides the president with the tools he needs to combat terrorist forces across the globe by eliminating the lengthy legal process and red tape needed to amend the Constitution.
The AMERICA Act, or Aiding the Righteous Executive branch by Enabling it to Destroy Opposing Masses, allows the president to protect this country from numerous terrorist sets. The bill is composed of nine pillars:

  • Allowing the president to infinitely veto any bill, regardless of Congress
  • Allowing the president to write and introduce bills
  • Allowing the president to pass and repeal bills
  • Allowing the president to reverse Supreme Court decisions
  • Amending the Constitution to allow the president to indefinitely suspend certain clauses
  • Permanently repealing the Bill of Rights
  • Subsidizing all state, city and county governments into one terrorist-busting executive branch
  • Allowing the president to ban or censor any media posing a threat to America
  • A federally mandated “moment of prayer” in all schools
  • The God-hating minority that oppose the FREEDOM Act claim the bill is unconstitutional and grants the executive branch too much power. Said Brian Jones as the bill was being debated: “This might be reasonable if we had a Democrat in power. But with George Bush we can’t afford to take any chances. Let’s wait until general elections.” Jones is currently being detained for possibly radical thoughts.

    The bill’s author and its many supporters, including President Bush, fervently rallied against the terrorists and held a late-night prayer marathon in favor of the bill. Said Larry Hagel (R-AL) “We’ve already voided parts of the Bill of Rights, surrendering now will throw this country into chaos. America is not going to cut and run. We’ll restore the original Constitution when the danger has passed and the country is stable again.”
    President Bush addressed the nation last Thursday, tearfully pleading “If you don’t pass this bill, it sends a message to the terrorists that they have won. Unless you give me unlimited power, democracy will be dealt a horrendous blow. Also, terrorists will invade this country, rape your wife, enslave your children and blow up you and your house.”

    Isms and Ables

    Filed under: dog comics — Tags: — mikeyc252 @ 2:03 am

    thats what your mother said

    April 8, 2008

    Jones Soda T-Shirt contest

    Filed under: Life — Tags: — mikeyc252 @ 12:13 am

    Design a T-shirt for Jones Soda, the best soda company in the world!
    Suck on that

    Pretty sweet am I right?

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